Listgasms » hate mail

I did a quick search for stereotypes on Google and Yahoo! and was surprised to find that the results were very extremely thin and not the least bit exhaustive. What’s the deal?

Should I chalk this up to an increased demand for political correctness? It sickens me to think that I can not go online and find a list containing every synonym or association for Asians, Blacks, Indians (dot, not the feather), Mexicans, Whites, Pollacks, Italians, or any other culture for that matter. What makes my fantasy even worse is that I wanted to learn these stereotypes in various languages…and I couldn’t. What the heck is wrong with us? I guess the only people allowed to make fun of cultural stereotypes are comedians like Seinfeld, Jorge Lopez, Ralphie May, or Chris Rock.

Comedians do a fantastic job acting out or describing the stereotypes that we all know are exaggerations. We only laugh because these exaggerations are mostly true. Not all the time, just most of it. So why isn’t someone transcribing these fantastic tidbits of truth so we can all share them with one another?

My theory is that its a tough job and so I will take it on, and every few months I will update this entry with new stereotypes, repost this motha-sucka, and hope that Al Sharpton comes knockin’ on my door. Because as we all know… something ain’t worth saying, if Uncle Al ain’t goin ask for you to apologize. (see that was a stereotype of how Al Sharpton speaks).

Once I feel this list is exhaustive enough, I will publish them all as one blog. Think of it all as a work in progress, just like America.

Today I will start with Asians of all colors white (noble Asians), yellow (most Asians), light yellow (few Asians) , highlighter yellow (even fewer Asians), and brown Asians (Filipinos, Burmese, Cambodians, Indonesians) and red Asians (Chinese, Vietnamese, and other commies)

• they are good at math
• they smell like fish
• they have poor eyesight
• they work in factories (nike, reebok, and world of warcraft)
• they have small penises
• they will eat anything that comes from the sea
• Asian countries whose females have won Olympic medals have often been accused of steroids (e.g. think Chinese drivers)
• they enjoy karaoke
• they all know martial arts
• asian food contains high levels of MSG
• they can play violin and/or piano
• they attend medical school (Taiwanese or Korean), own a restaurant or dry cleaning business (Chinese), or have a gambling addiction (Vietnamese)
• they all look the same: short, high voice, slit eyes, and black hair
• Asian women love black men
• being cute or silly is more important than having strength
• they are good with computers
• they can’t grow facial hair
• every meal they eat contains noodles or rice
• for everyday things that most people are good at, Asians are only good at if its a task or activity that can be completed for a high score in a video game
• Asians use comic or manga art to make up for the physical deficiencies god forgot to give them (e.g. muscles, boobs, beards)
• they can program any gadget that has ever been created but can’t figure out how to drive on the road
• they turn red when consuming alcohol
• their favorite pose while taking a picture is to hold the “peace” sign

Here’s the best we could find for Asian Stereotypes : random site.

Let the Hate Mail ensue!