Listgasms » Stereotypes

The internet is filled with bagillions of websites and blogs. All this information makes for a great new game that we like to call, “That Can’t Exist!”

Here’s how the game is played:

 

- Player one thinks of a topic.

 

- Player two has to think of the most ridiculous website that could be associated with Player 1’s topic.

 

- Player 1 runs a search to see if anything exists on the internets.

 

- If a website exists Player 2 gets a point, however the game always ends with both players winning.

Here are some of our more recent finds. You may have come across these web gems before but who cares, everyone always deserves a reminder:

Search String 1: Obama + The Devil

Result: www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com
Reflection: Basically, this proves our point that if you can think of a topic, chances are more than good that a site already exists. What is even more impressive about this site is the sheer dedication this man/woman/fanatic puts into finding actual content for the blog. People be warned: consumption of Obama juice may lead to negative side affects (i.e., inadvertently joining a cult, following a deathly trend, or being hopelessly audacious.)

Search String 2: Police + Hot

Result: www.hottcops.blogspot.com
Reflection: Does this woman (we are assuming she is of the female populace) really have the term HOTT COPs (two T’s) trademarked? Probably! The blog is fantastic. This lady has screen shots of hot cops on TV and she’s backs up her photo snatching skills with well documented information that only an ex-girlfriend stalker could hope to obtain. We have all heard of Firemen fetishes, but who knew someone actually liked a COP?

Search String 3: Black Child Names

Result: www.blackpeopleloveus.com
Reflection: And you thought you were getting names like Jayylyyn (pronounced Jaylin), Jazzmen (pronounced Jasmine), or Gerhome (pronounced Jerome), nope, sorry. This result falls into the category where both players win. This site is actually older than we thought, but that still doesn’t effect the humor factor (Off the charts).

Search String 4: Marry + Daughter

Result: www.marryourdaughter.com
Reflection: Awesome because of the two main ingredients: Purpose and Appropriateness. Our Filipino friend was very disappointed to find out this site was fake, but it’s not like was saving his Nike money or anything…

Search String 5: America + Guns

Result: www.armedamerica.org
Reflection: This site has been making the rounds and we are definitely considering picking this coffee table book up out of the “free bin” at the local library in about 9 months.

Search String 6: Hot Chicks + Idiots

Result: www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Reflection: If you have not been one of the millions to visit this site in the last year then your 56k dial up might be to blame. This site is fantastic for men who seek to spend more time grooming themselves than that of the average female socialite. Johnny Guido, Bobby Brosaffah, and Mark McGrath all approve of this web gem!

Search String 7: White People + Stuff

Result: www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com

Reflection: We love everything about this site because it is based on empirical evidence. The topics are great but the writing is even more superb. We are waiting the following topics to appear: Taxidermy, Ergonomic Furniture, Factory Outlets, RVs, and Helmets (but only because white people are so extreme).

Search String 8: Bouncer + Blog (no picture)

Result: www.diaryofadoorman.com

Reflection: This site reminds us all that bouncers can do more than just hold velvet ropes and wear tight shirts (or is that a painted advertisement).

Search String 9: Retards+ Blog

Result: www.tard-blog.com

Reflection: Why are we not surprised that this site is a part of Tucker Max’s Rudius Media Network? This blog makes us smile and when we aren’t smiling we try to think of the face of retard who is dancing…and then we find our way back to smiling.

Search String 10: Cycling + Around the World (no picture)

Result: www.reecerobbins.blogspot.com

Reflection: Apparently Reece has some lofty goals and we are 100% behind him. We hope he is aware of cycling’s correlation to male impotence.

Running theme: Stereotypes

Conclusion: If it weren’t mostly true then it wouldn’t be funny.

You are welcome!

Please send us more random websites or blogs.

More lists here

Updates: New sites that have been suggested

www.whatikilledtoday.blogspot.com 

I did a quick search for stereotypes on Google and Yahoo! and was surprised to find that the results were very extremely thin and not the least bit exhaustive. What’s the deal?

Should I chalk this up to an increased demand for political correctness? It sickens me to think that I can not go online and find a list containing every synonym or association for Asians, Blacks, Indians (dot, not the feather), Mexicans, Whites, Pollacks, Italians, or any other culture for that matter. What makes my fantasy even worse is that I wanted to learn these stereotypes in various languages…and I couldn’t. What the heck is wrong with us? I guess the only people allowed to make fun of cultural stereotypes are comedians like Seinfeld, Jorge Lopez, Ralphie May, or Chris Rock.

Comedians do a fantastic job acting out or describing the stereotypes that we all know are exaggerations. We only laugh because these exaggerations are mostly true. Not all the time, just most of it. So why isn’t someone transcribing these fantastic tidbits of truth so we can all share them with one another?

My theory is that its a tough job and so I will take it on, and every few months I will update this entry with new stereotypes, repost this motha-sucka, and hope that Al Sharpton comes knockin’ on my door. Because as we all know… something ain’t worth saying, if Uncle Al ain’t goin ask for you to apologize. (see that was a stereotype of how Al Sharpton speaks).

Once I feel this list is exhaustive enough, I will publish them all as one blog. Think of it all as a work in progress, just like America.

Today I will start with Asians of all colors white (noble Asians), yellow (most Asians), light yellow (few Asians) , highlighter yellow (even fewer Asians), and brown Asians (Filipinos, Burmese, Cambodians, Indonesians) and red Asians (Chinese, Vietnamese, and other commies)

• they are good at math
• they smell like fish
• they have poor eyesight
• they work in factories (nike, reebok, and world of warcraft)
• they have small penises
• they will eat anything that comes from the sea
• Asian countries whose females have won Olympic medals have often been accused of steroids (e.g. think Chinese drivers)
• they enjoy karaoke
• they all know martial arts
• asian food contains high levels of MSG
• they can play violin and/or piano
• they attend medical school (Taiwanese or Korean), own a restaurant or dry cleaning business (Chinese), or have a gambling addiction (Vietnamese)
• they all look the same: short, high voice, slit eyes, and black hair
• Asian women love black men
• being cute or silly is more important than having strength
• they are good with computers
• they can’t grow facial hair
• every meal they eat contains noodles or rice
• for everyday things that most people are good at, Asians are only good at if its a task or activity that can be completed for a high score in a video game
• Asians use comic or manga art to make up for the physical deficiencies god forgot to give them (e.g. muscles, boobs, beards)
• they can program any gadget that has ever been created but can’t figure out how to drive on the road
• they turn red when consuming alcohol
• their favorite pose while taking a picture is to hold the “peace” sign

Here’s the best we could find for Asian Stereotypes : random site.

Let the Hate Mail ensue!