AN ALBUM COVER
Many of you will fondly remember Saturday Night Live’s “Celebrity Jeopardy” sketches. With Will Ferrell playing Trebek and Darrell Hammond doing a delightfully evil Sean Connery the results were gold. One running gag in the sketch was Connery misreading the category titles. Always sexual, this produced statements such as “I’ll take anal bum cover for $7000” when the category really was “An Album Cover”. (For a refresher of the episode, go here)
I will also take the category of album covers in this post. Specifically, the ugliest, oddest, most confusing and downright worst album covers ever created. Before we tackle them, however, you just might want to please the eyes with some of the sexiest album covers. You like that? Yes, J-Lo was smiling just at you.
Some guy named Steve provides us his version of the Worst Album Covers Ever and I don’t think he’s very far off. More comprehensive lists of over 100 disgraces to the music industry can be found here as well as here. Sifting through these images, it’s hard not to develop an innate fear of the 1970s, anyone from rural areas, Germans, and some guy named “Tino”.
A few thoughts:
· There are exactly two hands here that are unaccounted for – that’s two hands too many.
· Say what you want, at least Devastatin’ Dave can rhyme.
· Note that one of Wally’s song titles is “1913 massacre”, as in the kind massacre he’s planning on committing since no one bought this album
· There was a time when this sort of thing was really cool. Unfortunately that time was only for a moment, when the photo for this cover was taken, and only in the minds of the four gentlemen in the shot. Even then, you can tell the guy on the far right is already regretting it.
· There are way too many hands unaccounted for here.
Enjoy the rest and take solace in the fact that album covers like these are a thing of the past. And perhaps the fake Sean Connery was right about the “anal bum covers”. Seems to be all they could have been good for.
