Listgasms » 2008 » January

Who doesn’t enjoy a new pair of Nike athletic shoes? Back in the day, MJ would lace up and new pair of shoes in each game he played. Some would say that’s a bit excessive (82 games in an NBA season) where others wonder why he didn’t start each quarter in a new pair of shoes.

Quick Sample of Nike’s Most Expensive Athletic Shoes:

Air Force Ones, model: Also Known As (AKAs)

Price: $1,000 to $1,500

The Air Force Ones are one of the Nike’s best-selling sneaker. The classic shoes even inspired a hit rap songs by Nelly. (Listgasm loves Hip-Hop)

There are fewer than 40 pairs of these Nike limited edition Air Force Ones, produced in conjunction with a book celebrating the art of graffiti. These shoes were only given to people involved with the release of the book, but Nom de Guerre, a trendy Manhattan men’s boutique with additional locations in Brooklyn, Los Angeles, Toronto and Tokyo, has a pair on display. The shoes aren’t currently for sale but are expected to fetch between $1,000 and $1,500 when Nom de Guerre decides to release them. (source Forbes)

You can also get your Air Force Ones, blinged-out by Atlanta, Georgia boutique Solitaire Kicks. Solitaire will provide you with your very own SoCal Air Force Ones for just $50,000. The price includes your choice of incrusted yellow, blue, or white diamonds with an added option of gold or platinum. All of the stitching is down in gold, which is yet another reason to buy an insurance policy on both the shoes and your life. We can definitely imagine the words “Solitaire Kicks, Air Force One, and murder” all in the same headline. So who was the first to get these? Rapper Big Boi from Outkast. Go figure…

Air Jordans: 23 models to date, countless hybrids, limited editions, etc.

Price: $185.00 for the newest model (XX3), other models can fetch from anywhere from as little as $100 over $500 on eBay, Amazon, or other special websites/retailers.

Air Jordans are the crème de la crème of basketball shoes. There are various colors for each model and they have always sold out. Not only do consumers wear Air Jordans, they collect them. A few years ago Nike even began releasing them in suitcases instead of shoeboxes. Which begs the question: Can I get a handcuff to go with the metal suitcase?

Nike had to even start releasing the shoes on Saturdays because kids would skip school during week in order to purchase them.

The newest model Air Jordan XX3 will run at an easy $185 and the hybrid Air Spiz’ikes run for a cool $175.

Nike Air Foamposite Pro

Price: $179.00

At the time of its release, the Nike Foamposite was the most expensive shoe to ever be released by Nike. The Foamposite was released in five colors blue, white, silver, black, and blue. Each color sold out. This unique shoe was mainly built for basketball, and is best described as: light, comfortable, and fugly.

The shoe was worn by Penny Hardaway, who could use a pair of new knees instead of new shoes.

Nike Men’s SBAir Force 25 6 Pack

Price: $200.00

Remember those kids in junior high who used out everything they owned? They would write all over their shoes, backpacks, and body parts. Well it appears that Nike hired those same kids (now all grow’ed up) to design their new “urban” line of sneakers.

Mercurial Vapor SL

Price: $600.00

Nike will launch 2,000 pairs of these soccer shoes in 2008, with the possibility of additional production. GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLL!

But why buy any of these shoes? They are all so hideous. We recommend saving your money or just buying shares of NIKE.

If you are really looking for something stylish, comfortable, and explosive and you are willing to splurge… well then here’s what you need:

The Fantastic Voyage Skate for $843.00

Other related links:

Forbes list of most expensive sneakers 2005

CNBC Special: SWOOSH! Inside Nike

There are a ton of lists regarding amusement parks and the rides that are built to thrill. We recently stumbled across rideaccidents.com, a site that attempts to document reported accidents and deaths at amusement parks. The site has a lot of information but nothing is sourced; which is a real pain in the ass when you are looking for the gruesome details of an amusement park death. Once we dug around in the CSPSC reports (see below) we felt much better about our chances of cheating death because their report concluded that since 1987, there has been an average of only 4.4 fatalities per year in the US.

• The United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) acts as a clearinghouse for information on safety issues related to portable amusement rides, inflatable devices, and go-karts. Amusement rides operated at permanent amusement parks and water parks have been exempt from federal safety oversight since 1981. The latest report from the CPSC was completed in 2005 and can be found here. We would advise staying away from any inflatable rides, because those seem to have the most accidents. Yes, this means 5 year old birthday parties!
• Rideaccidents.com details all ride fatalities from 1972-1997 and you can find that here (no source)

Why all the information? We just thought it was interesting, that’s all.

Happy thrill hunting in 2008!

These videos memes will be haunting YouTube with ever more frequency, so prepare yourself to be entertained and/or annoyed every time you check your email. 

5. Pancakes!

This pancake-mixing freak spent several weekends scooting ingredients around his kitchen counter, but it was worth the effort. His video (and follow-up Pancakes II) has been watched by millions and copied over and over again.

Other examples of the Pancakes! meme:

• Pancakes! Sims style
• Pizza!
• Ramen (appropriately set to the A-Team theme song)

1.  Tribute to Mr. Recession

As we stand on the precipice of the great recession, YouTube enthusiasts have been creating visceral expressions of what went wrong. Not to be confused with the videos of wannabe economists spewing on and on about the recession from their dimly-lit living rooms, recession tributes are a humorously tragic remixing of business imagery, CNBC footage, and music.

Obviously, the producers at CNBC failed to recognize the demand for recessionary self-pity, and we now turn to YouTube to collectively mourn our lost future.

A few more depressing tributes:

• Economic Meltdown!
• Housing Bubble vs. Great Depression
• Goodbye Housing Bubble
• TELL ME CAN YOU FEEL IT!
• Morbo on the Housing Bubble
• Britney Spears explains the subprime Housing Bubble Crash

Really, this is all too much. I’m giving up now.

Vote for Listgasm!

Our logo alone, is almost too hot for Wal-Mart!

As the Cold and Flu Seasons saunters on, we decided it would be nice to know that you could turn this:

into any one of these:

More:
List of uses for tissue boxes

other Links:
Personalized Tissue Box Covers
(source) (source)
(source)(source)

This is easily our pick of the week:

The definitive list of laughing baby videos!

We hope this brightened your day as much as ours!

In our quest for lists we are constantly trolling the far corners of internet for new information. One of the biggest sources for these lists are magazines. In fact the inspiration for LISTGASM originated out of the neighborhood newsstand. And if you doubt us, then we respectfully challenge you to do the following: The next time you are at Borders Books or Barnes and Nobles, we dare you to ignore the lists plastered all over the covers of various magazines

On to the next challenge:

We want to know if you have heard of, read, or subscribe to any of these magazines. We can’t even believe that these exist. (sorted by category)

WOMEN:

• MissBehave: We are not entirely sure if this magazine is still being published, it may have been downgraded to a blog. Still, we agree its time for a magazine that tell girls thats burhkas are out and being urban is in. Their title is catchy, feminine, and yet has a slight touch of entomology.

• Romantic Times BOOK Reviews: We love romantic book covers more than probably (see the logo?) anyone else, but we still can’t imagine anyone reading reviews for books with titles such as, Fallen: Celeste, Deep is the Night: Dark Fire, or The Last Celtic Witch. Definitely spend some time reading ASK THE AUTHOR, regarding the sensational Sasha Lord.

• Black Hair: The best magazines that nobody reads has to be the ethnic ones, and by ethnic we usually mean African-American or Latino. I’d like to know the specifics around using “soul glow.” Wouldn’t you? However I would prefer to learn everything on 1 page instead of 156…

• Cornbread 2 Caviar: Just when you thought this list was slowing down, we slip this right under you. The magazine is described as the “Southeast’s Urban voice for Christian Women.” This makes as much sense to us as cussing out a deaf person.

  

• Weddings and Quinceañeras: I have only been to one Quinceañera in my lifetime and the girl was half black, so it doesn’t really count. This magazine is exclusively for Latinas planning their birthday parties 15 years in the making. The following year they plan their child’s first birthday party and by age 20 they finally get married. I think that’s why its called Weddings AND Quinceañeras, but I think that the title should be in reverse order. Think about it, each purchased issue lasts the consumer a good 5 years!

  

• Fit Pregnancy: This magazine is no different than any other female subscription- full of how-to’s, tips, pretty pictures, and even prettier advertisements. My guess is that the only women who purchase this magazine are the same ones who planned their pregnancy and have intentions to get knocked-up immediately thereafter. Pay close attention to the special pull-out section in the picture.

• Pageantry Magazine: Where to begin? Luckily they have a special issue in the spring that is naturally titled “Prom Time.” Please find time to visit their site so you don’t miss out on the “Pic of the week.” We do appreciate the hair, make-up, and etiquette tips, but where’s the advice to ensure your little Teen/Hoodrat gets asked to the big dance in the first place?

• Just CrossStitch: This magazine is read by the tackiest and wackiest thrift-store shopping, home-schooling mothers in America. Although their house may feel extremely cozy upon entering and their baked goods are always delicious, be careful- because these woman are just a Lifetime Movie away from committing murder (or suicide).

• Sister 2 Sister: I am about ‘100 things better to do with my time’ away from writing to the editors of this magazine for black women and informing them that it should be “Sista 2 Sista,” and the ‘2′ should be in reverse. If you are going to do something, then do it write. Am I right?

• Women’s Basketball: I totally dig the concept of women buying a magazine containing foldouts of other women in time-lapsed photographic poses (i.e., completing lay-ups). Good form, but try to jump next time.

MEN:

• En-V-Us: Talk about Pride, this magazine bills itself as an “ethnic men’s lifestyle and entertainment magazine.” I don’t even think a college kid in a racially exclusive fraternity would pick this trash up…take that back… they probably would, but only because of the cologne samples. And why should I EN-V you anyway? Please remind me…

• Dime: Who knew there was a magazine dedicated to the “basketball lifestyle?” I play basketball a lot- I even have a pair of Jordan XI’s, and yet I have never heard of this “lifestyle” that this magazine promotes. I think its because of a specific thing Dime refuses to promote…A DAY JOB.

• Ultimate Grappling: Nothing says “I’m Straight Bro, I promise,” like jumping out of your supe’d up 4×4, ripping off your Affliction T-shirt, and getting down with some Mixed Martial Arts. I just don’t see where reading magazines fits into the whole equation. I guess that’s where the Ring Girls calendar comes into play…

• Log Home and Wood: I would go as far as saying that these are the two most necessary magazines on our list. One could argue that their carbon footprint is extremely large but I would counter argue that their weathered hand slap could knock you straight on your ass. Have you ever shaken the hand of a carpenter?

• Trapper & Predator These men don’t need Mountain Drew or heights to get Xtreme. Nope. They use assault rifles, bows, ATVs, and various animal calling techniques. Knawwaatimeen?

TEENS:

• Inside Cheerleading: I can admit that I have been on the”outside” of cheer leading for too long. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen Bring it On, so really- what more can there be? The answer lays somewhere in the mail (after $33 dollars and a 3 years subscription).

• Word Up! (black) J-14 Magazine (white) , and Gumbo Teen (confused): We thought teen gossip rags died with NKOTB (New Kids on the Block), but we were very very wrong. The greatest thing about these magazines have always been how they look exactly like something a 12 year old would put together…collage after collage after collage…
  • Good news: gumbo teen is hiring!

That just about does it for this list. We hope you are going bonkers trying to figure out how these magazines stay in business.

What’s next for Listgasm? Food! Frozen food and chocolate to be exact. But don’t worry everything has been lab tested for quality!

As you soak in the beauty of your three-day weekend (or simmer in a pool of pure hatred for those that are off) take a moment to remember the man who made it happen.

A few interesting facts:

• Ronald Reagan opposed the holiday, relenting only when Congress passed the bill with a veto-proof margin.
• South Carolina was the last state to approve MLK  Day as an official state holiday, doing so in 2000.  They must like working on Mondays.

So enjoy these Top Ten MLK Quotes and have a great, long weekend!

We don’t usually create our own lists, but this one was too good to pass up. This is just 15 of the filthiest homes (in no particular order) we have come across in national headlines. Let this be a reminder that it’s never too early for spring cleaning or winter evictions.

• Martin County, Florida: 480-Pound Woman Dies After Six Years on Couch
  • A woman dies after emergency workers try to remove her from a couch she had not been moved from in over 6 years. Other reports cite that the woman’s skin was actually grafted to the couch’s upholstery. Her cause of death was “morbid obesity” and died while still attached to the couch.
• Washington DC: Woman found in home with dead bodies of four youths
  • Banita Jacks was charged with the murder of her four children (ages 5, 6, 11, and 17) after US Marshalls discovered the decomposing remains of her children on the second floor of her home. The US Marshalls found the bodies upon serving Jacks an eviction notice.
• August, Georgia: 46 pound woman found starved to death in home
  • 30 year old Christine Baxter who was blind and deaf, was left in her home by her sister and brother-in-law. Baxter died of malnutrition. Her home was completely covered in cob-webs, trash and insects. Authorities said there were so many roaches on the walls that it appeared as if the walls were moving. The home was in such bad shape that it had to be demolished.
• Ocala, Florida: Feces ridden home with over 300 cats and 75 dogs
  • Jonathan Terpstra was charged with animal cruelty after investigators discovered over 300 cats and 75 dogs, both dead and alive, on his property in Oscala. The investigators were given the tip by an air conditioner repair man who suspected something illegal going on in the home.
• Milton, Mass: House condemned after police find woman covered in excrement
  • The home of Gail DeThomaso was discovered after police responded to a domestic violence compliant, only to find the two-story home filled with dozens of animals, cobwebs, filth, and the floors and walls were both encrusted with excrement. The police described the home as “an imminent threat to life, health and safety of occupants.” Apparently DeThomasa was immune to the filth, because the authorities had to wear biohazzard suits when removing the 28 cats, four dogs, two gerbils, one cockatiel and one hamster from the home.
• Petaluma, California: Woman kept at least 150 cats in a house she purchased exclusively for the cats to live in
  • This story is utterly ridiculous because the home was purchased for the cats to live in. Each day, the owner, a 61 year old woman, would drive to the house in her Mercedes Benz in order feed the cats. She was eventually caught red-handed feeding the cats, and later admitted that things had gotten “out of hand.” Click here for more coverage.
• Salem, Oregon: Child porn search turns up dead puppies and children living in filth (story and pictures)
  • Salem police showed up to the home with a search warrant for child porn and instead found Kevin and Sarah Deal, four children (ages 9, 15, 16, and 17), and 24 poodles running loose or in cages. Dog feces was found caked all over the home and garbage was found stacked all over the residence. To make matters worse, 8 deceased poodle were also found in the freezer of the home.

  

• Fairfield, Conn: Authorities remove 129 dogs from home
  • Robin D’Urso was charged with animal cruelty after authorities discovered 129 dogs in her home. Neighbors filed 46 complaints before the home was finally investigated. D’Urso said she was running an animal rescue… now she’s in jail.
• Lexington, Kentucky: Rats invest upscale house overrun with garbage.
  • A upscale house was condemned after it was found overcome by rats. The house contained piles of garbage strewn throughout the home which the rats were using for their daily diet. There were so many rodents living in the house that authorities had to set-up traps throughout the rest of the neighborhood in order to catch the rats that had escaped.
• Salt Lake City, Utah: Salt Lake county condemns filth-filled home
  • Authorities investigating child abuse found more than they bargained for. Highlights from this one include a non-working refrigerator filled with food that was 2 years old, a single source of running water from a sink that was clogged, clothes, garbage, and fecal matter all over the floor and rooms, two dogs, two frogs, and a tarantula. The only thing that worked in the whole house was a video camera that monitored the front door. Upon arrest the tenant was sporting a t-shirt from the refrigerator repair business he worked for.
• Midford, Mass: Deplorable conditions inside apartment force authorities to condemn the entire building
  • Authorities found this apartment ridden with insects (bedbugs, flies, waterbugs and maggots), dirty diapers, trash, and human body waste. There were even some rooms that the authorities wouldn’t enter because the filth was too much to take. Police described the conditions as some of the most disgusting conditions they had ever seen.
• Port St. Lucie, Florida: 3 kids removed from feces ridden home, Mom Arrested
  • Jaileen Soliman (age 25) was arrested and charged with child neglect after authorities discovered that she left her 3 children (ages 10, 7, and 1) in the back room of her repulsive home. The children were found covered in both insect and dog bites. The home was found covered in garbage and animal excrement from the 7 cats, pit bull, bird, and pot-bellied pig
• West Deptford, Penn: Animal House
  • Neighbors complained about the stench and flies they witnessed coming out of a home where authorities found 70 cats and 9 dogs roaming in and around the property. Hazmat crews were needed to investigate the home before exterminators were allowed into the property. A couple, who both were in their 60s, were also believed to be living in the home.
• Kent, New York: Woman who kept 24 pets in her apartment gets 6 months in jail
  • Trudy Barnes earned an extra 6 months in jail for animal cruelty (in addition to her 1 year bank fraud sentence), after movers showed up to her rented apartment and were greeted with pure filth. Authorities found more than a dozen cats, a dalmatian, and several birds in the apartment that was overgrown with trash and animal waste. When the movers were eventually allowed in, they ended up discovering a dead cat under Barnes’ couch.
• Detroit, Michigan: Family is found living in filth
  • This is probably the nastiest of them all. Click on the link to read the description by the Detroit News! The house was discovered after an investigation into the death of 63-year-old woman at a local hospital. The woman was brought to the hospital with open sores and dead black flesh dropping off of her body. After her death, an autopsy led authorities to her family’s home. When police entered the home they had to leave after only 5 minutes inside with their gas masks on because of the horrid conditions. The family had lived in the home for nearly a decade, in rooms filled with knee high garbage, used toilet paper, and maggot invested mattresses. What makes this home so disturbing was that (unlike the previously mentioned homes) there was no mention of pets living in the home.

It’s hard to disagree with an ambiguous slogan like, “Because Everybody Likes Stuff…” I really can’t think of anyone who hates, dislikes, or disagrees with “stuff.”

Deputy-Dog is very similar to sites like Neatorama and BoingBoing except they like to spotlight more specific topics such as architecture, design, and “geographic oddities.” It’s a great site if you looking for a daily stop for clever blogging and great lists. The content is always suitable for work and easy to digest. We highly recommend checking out some of their best lists here.