So we have been on a bit of a hiatus…full time jobs = excuses. We will be back and better than ever. Get ready.
Here’s what Alex and Ryan have been up to….weddings, tributes, and the like…
The internet is filled with bagillions of websites and blogs. All this information makes for a great new game that we like to call, “That Can’t Exist!”
Here’s how the game is played:
- Player one thinks of a topic.
- Player two has to think of the most ridiculous website that could be associated with Player 1’s topic.
- Player 1 runs a search to see if anything exists on the internets.
- If a website exists Player 2 gets a point, however the game always ends with both players winning.
Here are some of our more recent finds. You may have come across these web gems before but who cares, everyone always deserves a reminder:
Search String 1: Obama + The Devil
Result: www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com
Reflection: Basically, this proves our point that if you can think of a topic, chances are more than good that a site already exists. What is even more impressive about this site is the sheer dedication this man/woman/fanatic puts into finding actual content for the blog. People be warned: consumption of Obama juice may lead to negative side affects (i.e., inadvertently joining a cult, following a deathly trend, or being hopelessly audacious.)
Result: www.hottcops.blogspot.com
Reflection: Does this woman (we are assuming she is of the female populace) really have the term HOTT COPs (two T’s) trademarked? Probably! The blog is fantastic. This lady has screen shots of hot cops on TV and she’s backs up her photo snatching skills with well documented information that only an ex-girlfriend stalker could hope to obtain. We have all heard of Firemen fetishes, but who knew someone actually liked a COP?
Search String 3: Black Child Names
Result: www.blackpeopleloveus.com
Reflection: And you thought you were getting names like Jayylyyn (pronounced Jaylin), Jazzmen (pronounced Jasmine), or Gerhome (pronounced Jerome), nope, sorry. This result falls into the category where both players win. This site is actually older than we thought, but that still doesn’t effect the humor factor (Off the charts).
Search String 4: Marry + Daughter
Result: www.marryourdaughter.com
Reflection: Awesome because of the two main ingredients: Purpose and Appropriateness. Our Filipino friend was very disappointed to find out this site was fake, but it’s not like was saving his Nike money or anything…
Search String 5: America + Guns
Result: www.armedamerica.org
Reflection: This site has been making the rounds and we are definitely considering picking this coffee table book up out of the “free bin” at the local library in about 9 months.
Search String 6: Hot Chicks + Idiots
Result: www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Reflection: If you have not been one of the millions to visit this site in the last year then your 56k dial up might be to blame. This site is fantastic for men who seek to spend more time grooming themselves than that of the average female socialite. Johnny Guido, Bobby Brosaffah, and Mark McGrath all approve of this web gem!
Search String 7: White People + Stuff
Result: www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com
Reflection: We love everything about this site because it is based on empirical evidence. The topics are great but the writing is even more superb. We are waiting the following topics to appear: Taxidermy, Ergonomic Furniture, Factory Outlets, RVs, and Helmets (but only because white people are so extreme).
Search String 8: Bouncer + Blog (no picture)
Result: www.diaryofadoorman.com
Reflection: This site reminds us all that bouncers can do more than just hold velvet ropes and wear tight shirts (or is that a painted advertisement).
Search String 9: Retards+ Blog
Result: www.tard-blog.com
Reflection: Why are we not surprised that this site is a part of Tucker Max’s Rudius Media Network? This blog makes us smile and when we aren’t smiling we try to think of the face of retard who is dancing…and then we find our way back to smiling.
Search String 10: Cycling + Around the World (no picture)
Result: www.reecerobbins.blogspot.com
Reflection: Apparently Reece has some lofty goals and we are 100% behind him. We hope he is aware of cycling’s correlation to male impotence.
Running theme: Stereotypes
Conclusion: If it weren’t mostly true then it wouldn’t be funny.
You are welcome!
Please send us more random websites or blogs.
Updates: New sites that have been suggested
Click here to digg Listgasm.com!
Every vote helps!
America Loves American Idol
Here is a listgasm exclusive list of 9 Facts you may not have known about the popular music competition:
Fact 1: The first round of auditions took place back in fall 2007 - at least 3 months before the episodes were shown on TV.
Fact 2: By October 2007, all the contestants who made it to Hollywood already knew they were going to Hollywood. Those contestants were sworn to secrecy (bound by contract) to not divulge the results to others.
Fact 3: American Idol Season 7’s Hollywood week took place in late November 2007, a couple months before it was seen on TV.
Fact 4: The contestants must go through several auditions before singing in front of Randy, Paula and Simon.
Fact 5: Randy, Paula, and Simon only judge a small percentage of the total contestants as they travel from city to city.
Fact 6: An inside source known as “JoesPlace” released a list of contestants that made it to Hollywood several weeks before the American Idol Season 7 premiere. The list was over 90% accurate.
Fact 7: Several weeks before the top 24 were announced on American Idol, an inside source known as “JoesPlace” predicted who would be in the top 24. The list was 100% accurate. Here’s a link to that spoiler
Fact 8: American Idol top 24 contestants (and their close family members) learn that they’ve been inducted into the top 24 weeks before the TV audience knows. They are bound by contract to not divulge any information.
Fact 9: Close family members of the top 24 contestants are also bound by strict legal contracts not to divulge any American Idol secrets. Even minors must sign the contracts if they’re privy to certain information.
They read off of a teleprompter and wave their hands, occasionally they make Nostradamus like predictions, (because some work in Phoenix or Seattle), and their resume includes 2 things: a made up name and a glamor shot. Here they are for your enjoyment: 20 Ridiculous Real Weathermen Names…or meteorologists if you want to be all scientific.
19. Joe Bastardi (AccuWeather.com) - Random Fact: Isn’t drinking the Global Warming kool-aide that Al Gore is serving up.
18. Shawn Styles (8 News, KCBS San Diego) - Quote: “Weather affects peoples lives, I can help them make plans.” Very Charming Styles but we would have accepted, “…You’re Welcome”
17. Dave Salesky (KGW8 Pacific Northwest) - An example of how annoying a weatherman can be… by jumping into a polar bear’s pool at the zoo. Jackass.
16. Lisa Teachman (KMBC 9 Kansas City) - Another example of how annoying these people can be. What the heck does weather, valentines, and a barber shop quartet have to do w/anything?
15. Burton Fitzsimmons (News 8 Austin) - Not only does this man have a weather job but he also has his own website…a weather blog.
Instead of a picture we figured we would provide you with an invitation to his free seminar. (via BurtonFitzsimmons.com )
[Storm Spotter Training… We kick off the spring severe weather season each year with a free training seminar. Join us this Saturday at the UT Pickle campus (in north Austin) from 9a-415p. Attendees get a chance to meet and greet our News 8 weather team, learn from experienced storm spotters, and take the official National Weather Service Skywarn training program. Certificates will be awarded. Come learn how to identify different types of storm clouds from a distance, and how to best relay severe weather reports from your area. Click here for full details
Meteorologist Burton Fitzsimmons]
Did you really click for more details? We bet the FAQ gives little explination for the 4:15PM early ending. Free: You always get what you pay for.
14. Cindy Fitzgibbon (Fox 25 Boston) - In 2003 she won the AP press award for “Best Weathercast,” and since then she has been living the dream.
13. Julie Bologna (CBS 11 Dallas/Fort Worth) - Fact: When she’s not doing the weathercast she is busy publishing books like: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Extreme WeatherWe hope the recipe for extreme weather involves Mountain Dew and complete idiots. Please buy us the book so we can find out!
12. Mike Wankum (WCVB Boston) - Fact: Served as Chairmen of the Chernobyl Children Project USA. What have you ever done for the Chernobyl kids of USA? Probably Nothing… Thanks Wankum!
11. Topper Shutt (WUSA Washington DC) - Listgasm Award (2008) for best weather blog. Do you know where the forecast comes from?
10. Sam Champion (Good Morning America ABC) - Fact: Dips his hand in Crisco to moisturize. The things you learn when you work 2 minutes a day and have 1438 minutes left to do other things.
9. Flip Spiceland (NBC WXIA Atlanta) - He obviously chose weather over adult entertainment. Good choice Mr. Spiceland!
8. Fritz Coleman (NBC 4 Los Angeles) - This guy has to be the cheesiest weathermen alive…or he is just an extreme narcissist.
7. Monte Montello (News 14 Carolinas) - Fact: Has a pet cat named Midnight Montello. His wife’s name is Laura. Judging from her boring name, we are betting she’s not much of a storm chaser.
6. Ray Ban (The Weather Channel) - Executive VP of Meteorology at the Weather Channel or a position with enough power that he can fire you for making fun of his ridiculous name.
5. Aloha Taylor (Fox6 San Diego) -Fact: She was awarded with the American Meteorological Society’s Seal of Approval in 2002.
4. Johnny Mountain (KCBS/KCAL Los Angeles) - We could listen to him talk about “Gusty Winds” (Santa Anas) for the rest of our life. Fact- He played an anchorman in episode of A-Team.
3. Gary Shore (KCAU Sioux City) - Fact: Actually felt “called” to meteorology, especially as a young boy missing fly balls in the outfield…one day your blow the big catch the next you’re doing weather!
2. Storm Field (WWOR New Jersey) - Fact: NY Daily News named his weather reporting as the most accurate among his competitors.
1. Dallas Raines (KABC Los Angeles) - He’s number one because he is a winner in life. Dallas is America’s Weatherman. Look at his style and flair. If he wasn’t a weatherman he would probably be a WWE wrestler. We hope that his hobbies include going to clubs with Pac Man Jones and makin’ it rain.
The only reason to watch the local evening news is the utterly gorgeous weather lady, unless you’re interested in the drug bust / cat infestation that sent three helicopters to your block last night. Yes, she probably did graduate summa cum laude in Atmospheric Sciences from Texas A&M. But who cares?
1. Jackie Johnson. She is my local Channel 9 weather woman and she has already saved me and my girlfriend a very inconvenient trip into the center of a hurricane. And this is exactly why I keep watching Jackie.
2. Sugey Abrego. This Matutino Express show spends about 57 minutes with Sugey’s weather report every day, which is absolutely justified given her large bust size and absurdly casual attire.
3. Mónica Escamilla. It seems as if it is about 85 degrees in the television studio when she delivers her report.
4. Jackie Guerrido. Ay, caray, the Spanish-speaking countries really have great weather reporting.
5. Valentina Avanzi. Italian television stations use runway models to deliver information about the weather. Thankfully, the viewers never notice that she’s reading from a card, and don’t care that the weather graphics look like an Age of Empires campaign.
6. Eva Berberian. The French would naturally also hire runway models, but it seems that Eva has a far better grasp on the subject of weather than Valentina.
Well, there you have it. We’ve watched the most gorgeous ladies of weather and still don’t know if it is going to rain tomorrow.
America loves game shows because we love people who make fools of themselves while trying really hard to win cash that they don’t deserve. It’s all very similar to a skeezy politician wooing voters and committing an embarrassing gaffe.
I digress…Our list of the week comes today from PWNtheNET.com, and its a compilation of recent failures on Wheel of Fortune. You really can’t miss this one: Link
“ALL YOU CAN EAT TACO BAR!”
Each February we celebrate Black History. We remember the great trailblazers of the African-American community such as Martin Luther King, Jackie Robinson, and Rosa Parks. February is the month to celebrate the accomplishments of these historic individuals because of their accomplishments and the acclaim they brought to their community.
Black History is American History and that is why Listgasm presents you with a look a few African Americans (past and present) who you probably won’t find in your school textbook. We sometimes forgot about these men and women, BUT NOT ANYMORE.
here’s a friendly reminder… (thanks internet!)
Bill Cosby, first black male to star in a network television show, “I Spy” (1965), pusher of Jello, and all around good man
James Earl Jones, the voice of God and Darth Vader
Violet Palmer, first black woman to be a referee in the NBA
Pope Saint Gelasius 1, one of only three black Popes in the Catholic Church
Shaquille O’Neal, the big Aristotle, NBA giant, law enforcer, and philosopher
JC Watts, who we eagerly await to run for President of the United States
Chef from South Park, a gentlemen and a scholar to the kids in his community
Lynn Thigpen, the commissioner from, Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego?
LeVar Burton, he inspired us to read (Reading Rainbow), taught us all about Roots, and spawned a new style in sunglasses
Mavis Beacon, taught us all how to type on an Apple IIe
Carl Weathers, for being the only actor from Predator to not run for Governor(yet)
The Entire Cast of Cool Runnings, no words can describe the thrill of watching this film which is also responsible for a surge in Jamaican nationalism
Steve Urkel, for reminding us that persistence pays off
Cera from the epic movie series The Land Before Time, for being the sassiest Triceratops in Dinosaur history (and spelling her name with a “C”)
Darius Rucker, the lead singer of Hootie and The Blowfish. (who also made a R&B album that nobody bought)
(Not Pictured)
AC Richardson, GW Carver and all the other Black Inventors
Clarence Thomas, for being supreme in every way that a man can
Nate Robinson and Spud Webb for inspiring every man, woman, and child under 5 feet 9 inches that dunking is humanely possible
Grant Fuhr, first black goalie in the NHL
Booker T, WCW wrestler
My Buddy!
Madame CJ Walker, first black millionaire
Robert Johnson, owner of BET, first black billionaire!
Oprah, for being Oprah (and because her vajayjay painin’)
AC Green, the consummate athlete, role model, and Christian
Vanessa Williams, first Black Miss America!
Morris Day and the Time, for making nothing but hits
Conde Rice, first black female secretary of state and all around great American
Gemini, first black American Gladiator
James Trivette, for having Chuck Norris’ back in time of need
Helmet Burger Guy, because he can put food down like a champ
Ryan Moses, my first best friend!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE GREAT LISTS
The 2008 Presidential Primary: Part 1
(Click on the screenshot to go to the actual archived page)
December 2006 through December 2007 (top to bottom)
Conclusion: Drudge loves Hillary just a smidgen more than Obama…just wait a few more weeks and we will bring you Part 2 (2008).
The Good News: Only 1 more year to go!
Click here for more great lists
